Birds of Evergreen Out of Their Birdbrain Minds

I've heard of humans feeling like they're trapped in the wrong body: a man, who feels like he's really a woman or vice versa. But a bird, who feels deep down inside that he was born the wrong species of bird? Apparently, there's some of that going on in the woods of Evergreen.

First, there was the delusional robin, pecking at our window as if he were a woodpecker. And I don't mean just a few pecks here and there. I mean pecking at it - non-stop, every day for a few days. Some have suggested that he may have been looking at his reflection, thinking it was another robin, and trying to fight it.

I disagree. I think this robin had dissociative identity disorder. He would fly away, come back again and again, to peck in the same spots around our house - and peck so madly and derangedly there had to be something wrong with his birdbrain. He also did this to our neighbors truck window, all the while pooping away - on our window sill and their car door. Lovely, I know.

Today, I heard a weird chirp and thought it was a hummingbird once again trapped in our house. Looking down at the hummingbird feeder, I saw a most unusual sight: a woodpecker, hanging with half its body off the feeder, almost upside down like some sort of acrobat, trying to sip from the hummingbird feeder. Woody, you're a WOODPECKER, not a HUMMINGBIRD. And ROBIN - you are a redbreasted, worm-eating ornithoid, who heralds springtime's arrival, but most certainly does not typically peck at objects, such as glass or trees - ummm, that's a WOODPECKER.

What's wrong with these creatures? I've heard of "flights" of fancy, but these take the cake.

These birds are seriously confused.